So much of life is neither black nor white. We usually live in the great in-between. You know, that huge span between what is right or wrong, yes or no, black or white, conservative or liberal? I think most of us spend a great deal of time there. I never thought that I did, but boy was I wrong! I suppose you are wanting some examples, so I will share just a few recent ones.
Today, I took my older daughter to the doctor. She came home early from school yesterday with a fever. Now, the right thing to do when your child is sick can be debatable. Everyone has their own system of dealing with sick kids. My system is to wait a day or so to go to the doctor unless it is an obvious emergency. My girl woke up this morning with a fever again, and she was also achy from head to toe. I knew she needed to see the doctor. So, we ate and got ready to go. At the office, the doc looked her over and declared that she had strep. Now, the good mom would have taken said kid home, and then returned to the store to pick up meds, right? We wouldn't want to infect others, right? Okay, so here is one of those gray areas for me. We went to the store together and I picked up her meds. We had to wait, so I did the rest of my shopping while I was there. I should have taken her home, and then gone back. I know this. I also know that a twenty minute trip to the store would have then become an extra hour of travel for me, so I just went. Now you know why I ALWAYS clean the shopping cart when I shop.
ALWAYS.
After we got home, big girl was tired and achy, so she did not want lunch. My sweet husband had asked the little one if she wanted lunch, and she said she was not hungry. It was almost two o'clock. Neither of my girls ate lunch today. Was it because we are bad parents? We know that children require food more than once a day. However, after preparing at least a hundred uneaten meals over the years, we do not push our kids to eat.
We don't eat when we're not hungry, so why should they? Consequently, our girls did not get lunch today. Now, I will finish this story by saying that I made supper at 4:30 because everyone but Dad was hungry. Instead of endless snacking, I made them eat a meal. I suppose that sort of makes up for the lunch, right? RIGHT??
The last example that I will give from today (yes, I said today) happened right before that meal that I made my girls eat. I needed a few things from the store, and my sweet little one wanted to go with me. Now, this girl had gone to a sleepover last night, and she looked ROUGH. I mean tangled hair, same socks as yesterday, and questionable hygiene rough. I took her anyway because who doesn't want to spend some time with their kiddos after they've been gone? We are standing in the line, trying hard to just get in and out of the store. You know what that's like, friends. Just ring me up so I can pay, right? Right. Well, I needed some female products, and they were not ringing up correctly, so the cashier yells to the cashier a few aisles over to ask what to do. At this point, I'm like,"Okay, this is okay." I proceed to tell her that I will quickly get one that will ring up. I bring it back, and the cashier is still loudly discussing my product with the cashier a few aisles away. Then, some lady a few customers back starts complaining to the cashier that I am not getting my money's worth! At this point, she's yelling at the cashier, I'm embarrassed, and the cashier is clueless. I lost my temper. I asked the cashier (a little louder that I'd like to admit) if she would please just ring me up so I can leave.
Utter mom fail, I know. I had every right to be upset, but I did not have the right to lose my temper.
Sigh.
The line between right and wrong, or any of those other glorious absolutes that I mentioned earlier, can be a little fuzzy at times. Some days, like today, I feel like I live in the in-between. This is not always a bad thing. It allows me to be flexible when change needs to happen. It allows me to view both sides of a situation and see the merits (and flaws) of each. It gives me empathy for those who need a little extra grace.
I feel blessed to have a personality that lets me see the in-between. Some people, like my younger daughter, aren't so fortunate. It's truly hard for her to see why people can't just follow the rules!
WHY do some kids get in trouble all the time?
WHY do I have to tell her maybe all the time?
WHY are some people nice one day and mean the next day? She can't understand breaking the rules for a
just reason any more than she can understand why it's sometimes okay to have pie for breakfast. I said SOMETIMES! Come on, people!
So, why have I spent all of this time confessing my sins to you? Why am I advocating, yes advocating, for people to see shades of gray?
All we need to do is look around. Life is hard, and the right choices are not always the easiest to see. Sometimes we make mistakes, and so do the others around us. We are not perfect. When we see
everything as only right or wrong, we miss the opportunity to reach out to the hurting. We judge them instead of trying to understand. If we can't understand why a mother would steal to feed her child, we put her in jail instead of feeding her family. Our ability to empathize with others is tied to being able to see things from someone else's perspective. I think we have lost this ability as a nation. We can no longer see past our own experiences to relate to our neighbors.
I have a firm foundation in God's Word, and I know the difference between right and wrong. However, I know that even Jesus bent the rules a time or two. He didn't stone the adultress. He asked for mercy from her accusers instead. He didn't back away from her just because she had broken God's law. He helped her and told her the truth.
I believe we should do no less when we encounter someone who is having an in-between kind of day. The world would be a much better place if we did.
