My sweet friends, I hope you've had a wonderful summer. While it may still be in full swing in other locations, it's back to school time here. It hardly seems possible. Where did the summer go? Wasn't it just Memorial Day?!?
No, it wasn't. Our kids have been home from school for almost three whole months. It's weird to think of it that way, isn't it? Our kids spend a full quarter of the year home with us, a whole season almost.
I remember the summers of my youth. They went by so S L O W L Y. Summer took forever. Not that it was a bad thing. Baseball games, trips to the lake, camping, fishing, picnics, and occasional vacations made the summer a blissful time of my childhood.
I wonder sometimes how our children will remember their childhood summers. Our family is not wealthy, so huge and extravagant vacations don't generally happen in our home. We usually try to do something new and fun with the kiddos every year, though. Will they remember all the trips to the park? Will they remember our first plane ride? Will they remember the many trips to Grandma's? I wonder.
This summer has gone by in a blur. The beginning of summer was consumed by softball and volleyball practices, and then games. But since 4th of July......nothing. I can't remember doing much for the rest of the summer. We went to the park today. Does that count? We went to the pool. We went to the library. The second half of our summer was full of the mundane, I guess. The everyday of life was about all we accomplished. Was it enough?
You might be wondering what has brought on this new wave of concern over our kiddos' childhood experiences. Well, today I got a very rude awakening from my dear soon-to-be teenager.
She's not little any more.
My sweet babies are no longer babies. My girls will be starting the fourth and seventh grades this year.
You see, my time is running out.
I, like every other mother on the planet, have forgotten the most important lesson of motherhood-we only get them for so long. They're not ours to keep. They're only on loan from our loving Creator.
You know God must have quite a sense of humor. He hands us these little pink balls of screaming and crying and stink, and he makes us instantly fall in love with them. So we care for them, nurture them, love them, and teach them. We pour ourselves into these tiny beings like it's our life's only purpose. As they grow, we finally get to rest a bit as they start to do things for themselves. We become comfortable in this phase.
Life is good.
Now, I understand that everyone's motherhood journey is different, and it is not all wonder and beauty. Sometimes it's downright awful and we pray for bedtime or nap time or TV time or whatever gets us through the day. But, looking back, something strange has happened. I find that most of the awful has faded away into the mist, and the beauty is what stands out most. Bedtime stories, dinner time talks, tickles, giggles, and snuggles are what I remember the most. To my fellow moms still in the toddler stages, you really will miss some of it. I promise.
God, in his infinite wisdom (and I'm not saying that sarcastically,) has decided that we must move on from this time of comfort. We have entered into a new phase in our parenting journey, and I must say, I'm not really fond of it yet.
We have entered into the age of letting go.
You know, I thought we were already doing this as we went along. Children as they grow go through so many milestones and changes, you find yourself constantly adjusting to what is happening now, and letting go of what has gone before. A great example would be trusting your kid to quietly play without burning the house down, or letting them play outside without you. When they were toddlers, these things would be unthinkable, but as they grow, we open our hands a bit and they step out on their own a little. As they master these little things, we keep giving them bigger and bigger things. Little by little they are learning to stand on their own. This is how I thought we were parenting. Little did I realize that we were teaching them to live without us, and teaching ourselves to let go.
Man, it's so hard!
I remember standing at the door watching my girls playing outside, and trying not to let them see me. I remember fielding calls from my big girl at every sleepover. I remember waiting outside for them to come back from riding their bikes. If only it could continue to be that easy....
I'm not a fool. I know what awaits me. I know that sleepovers are nothing compared to dates. I know bike rides can't even come close to car rides. And I don't even want to think about college. But tonight as my near teenager pushed me away and meant it, something broke within me. It hit me like a ton of bricks how very little time we have left with these sweet, crazy girls.
We have six summers left with our big girl. Six summers of childhood, and she'll be gone. My heart is having a hard time with this today. I feel like I've wasted so much time worrying about laundry and dishes and rest. Wake up! Wake up! We only have six summers left!
We have some major changes coming to our family soon, and I'll be sure to reveal more later, but I want to leave you with this one thought before I'm done. Childhood doesn't have to be magical, but it does have to be meaningful for our children. I think most parents would be surprised to learn what really sticks with their kids as they grow up. Parenting is hard, and the dishes and the laundry have to be done, but remember some day you'll have plenty of time on your hands and way too much quiet.
Childhood is fleeting.....
