A Little Tough Love

My two beautiful daughters have decided that they would like to try out some sports this summer. Consequently, my sweet husband and I have been busy playing taxi since the end of the school year. Our little is playing softball. For those of you who don't know, she has asthma. This is her first sports endeavor. It's a big deal.

Our big girl is trying her hand at volleyball. Since she was little, people have been asking her over and over if she was going to play basketball or volleyball because she is so tall. It's been a tough time for her lately with some medical issues. Team sports is a big deal for her right now, too.

My girls have been asking me all summer what I think of how they are playing.

I am a good mom.

I try to be reassuring, and point out the positive aspects of their efforts. I try to encourage them. I want them to feel good about playing.

But tonight, oh tonight, they got a dose of my honest opinion, and I'm not sure they enjoyed it. My girls have been working at these sports all summer, but I feel as though they are not really willing to give it their all. They do have their moments, but, in reality, they are just going through the motions.

They are unsure.

They are bored.

They are making excuses.

They don't want to practice at home.

Greatness takes effort. Success usually only comes after many failures. Without trying you don't have to feel the crushing disappointment of failure after giving it your all. You also don't get to feel the amazing rush of winning, knowing you gave it your all.

Fear can trap us all, no matter our age. Fear of failure. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of humiliation. We've all experienced it.

Tonight, I told my girls my honest opinion.

I told them that attitude matters. I told them that effort matters, no matter the results. I told them that practice pays off. You have to work for what you want in life. If you're not willing to work for it, it must not matter that much to you.

Excuses only set us up for failure. If you are already preparing a defense for why you failed, you are not giving it your all!

Don't give up!

Never quit!

You are only in competition with yourself in this life. You may win or lose games, but winning without really contributing is so hollow. Losing after giving up is even worse. We only regret the chances we don't take. We only cherish the things we know we really work for, that's why participation trophies mean nothing to kids.

They KNOW they didn't earn them.

Play games and have fun, but you should do your best.

Always.

Otherwise, you cheat yourself and your team. If you're not willing to do that, maybe you shouldn't play.

Now, some of you might be saying that I was a little hard of my girls. I should only encourage effort.

Encouragement will only take them so far. They were genuinely wanting to know how to get better. They know they are not doing as well as they could. I don't know, maybe some kids have enough self discipline that encouragement is enough for them.

My girls are not like that.

They respond well to a little tough love. I think most people eventually do. Why should I hold that back from them?

God certainly doesn't hold back from showing us tough love. He prunes and trims from us, knowing we will be better when He's done with us. He wants us to grow. He wants us to change for the better. He wants us to mature.

My girls' attitudes need to mature. They need to understand the concept of a team a little better. All of the encouragement in the world will not make it happen.

Tough love.

Amazingly enough, God's ways are best. Again.

Always.