Really.
Sometimes, I can't stand anyone or anything anymore. Come, Lord Jesus, come.
sigh
Anyone else have days like this?
Anyone?
I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
It is really hard to admit we don't have everything under control, isn't it? It is so hard to admit that we might need help. What I find the most surprising is how alone it makes me feel.
I think that might be His plan.
Why would a God who loves me want me to feel isolated and alone when I'm also feeling unlovable? I'm not a Biblical scholar, but I think God has a plan for me during this time. The more I realize how miserable and alone I feel, the more I realize that things are just not right. Realizing there is a problem is the first step in solving it. When I finally admit that I'm not in control of everything, God has room to work.
And, man, do I need a lot of work! Sometimes my attitude just isn't what it should be, and I can feel it. Everyday. What can I possibly do to change this funk I have let myself sink into? How is God going to turn this around? Will God turn it around?
As I sit contemplating these questions, God slowly brings something to mind. I shake it off. Then, he gently reminds me again. Reluctantly, I give in.
I know the key to my attitude problem. I know how to fix my funk. I know what I need to do.
I need to be grateful.
That's right. That's the solution. Be grateful. Be grateful for everything God has done for me, instead of complaining about what he hasn't.
I know what you're thinking.
"Well, that's easy for her to say, she isn't going through what I'm going through."
"Sunshine and happiness isn't gonna make me forget my problems."
Or maybe even, "God hasn't done anything for me."
Listen, you guys, I get it. I really do. Life is hard. Sometimes, life is downright miserable. Bad things happen, hard things, inconceivable things. I get it, and I want to tell you a little story.
A few weeks ago, my family went to church. Now, this is not shocking to most people, but it was a milestone in our lives. You see, we had missed about two whole months of church. Before that, we had missed a lot, too. For various reasons, our lives had become very difficult, and we ended up using Sundays to heal and recover mentally and physically. No excuses. It is what it is.
So, we went to church. On that day, as fate would have it, our pastor started talking about our commitment to God. Coincidence? Well, maybe, but the sermon really touched our little family in a mighty way. After church, we decided to go to get some groceries and stop for lunch while we were out. In the van on the way to the next town over, we had a conversation with our girls about what commitment looks like, and how our family needed to reevaluate our priorities. We were just chatting, like most families do after church. I was certain that the girls weren't really even listening to me.
What happened next, I could not make up. Seriously.
We passed an elderly man on the side of the road. He looked like he wasn't doing well. When we passed by him, my heart literally hurt. So, I asked my husband to turn around. I was positive that someone else would have already helped him by the time we got back to him. I mean, he was old and in trouble. Who passes someone up like that?
Well, we did.
When we finally got back to where the man was, he was still waiting. He was all hunched over like he was in real pain and deep despair. My husband got out and walked up to him.
Now, I have to stop and tell you guys something. We are NOT in the habit of picking up strangers. The safety of our children is always paramount in the decisions that we make. However, we have been known to bring food and coffee to the homeless. But, there was something different about this man. I just can't explain it.
So, my husband walked out to him and spoke with him. Suddenly, we were taking him to lunch. I moved into the back of the car with the girls, and he rode next to my husband. Our plan was to take this man to someone who could give him some proper help.
As we rode with him, he began to tell us about himself. He had an interesting accent, and we quickly learned that he was a foreign traveler who had been badly beaten and robbed. He was trying to make his way back home after speaking to a church in Texas. He told us about his journey, all the while regaling us with entertaining stories and Bible verses. Finally, he told us he had been gone from home a long time, and was anxious to get back home.
He also told us that, other than the police, we were the only ones to stop and help him for a very long time. We fed him, helped him on his way to his next stop, and we will probably never see him again. I doubt that I'll ever forget him, though.
Now, why did I tell you this story? I tell this story not to brag about helping others, because that would be pointless. People help other people all the time. But every time I tell this story, which hasn't been very often, I am blessed by it again and again. God knew just what we needed.
Our little family needed some perspective and gratitude.
We needed to see how much worse some other people have it. We needed to see all of our blessings in comparison. We needed to bless someone else with what little we could offer. We needed to give of ourselves for the sake of God, with no hope of anything in return. And our children needed to see all of it firsthand.
Sometimes we can get so distracted by how bad the road is, we forget to see the beauty in the journey. Sometimes, all it takes is listening to someone else for a while to see how blessed we truly are. The man that we thought we were helping was really helping us. God was helping us. He was using this man to instill some gratitude into our hearts. It had been sorely missing for quite some time.
As we begin this season of blessing and thanksgiving, I pray that God will give you eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to help the less fortunate. Not only will you get to be the hands and feet of Jesus, but you might just realize how blessed you are in return.
And that, my friends, is a real gift.
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