The Beauty of No

🎵🎵 It's the most wonderful time of the year!🎵🎵

It's the time of year for Christmas concerts. It's the time of year for decorating. It's the time of year for shopping. It's time for wrapping. It's time for baking. It's time for parties. Time for lights. Time for cards. Time for crafting. Giving. Church. Teacher gifts. Pictures. Christmas lists. Bible studies. Special trees. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, snow pants, boots, sleds, snow, oil changes.......😜😜😜

Sleepovers?!?!

Goodness, I'm tired just thinking about all of this! There must be something wrong with me. Is it the most wonderful time of the year?

I know I might step on a few toes with this post, but I cannot be the only mom who will let herself become so overworked and stressed that I don't even enjoy the holidays anymore. Why do I do this to myself? In my quest to have a happy family and a perfect Christmas, have I forgotten the true meaning of the day?

Like all parents, my husband and I try to give our kids a memorable Christmas. We have certain traditions that we like to repeat every year, and we carve out time for whatever school or church activities our children have committed to. Our calendar fills with practices, trips, concerts, and parties. We are blessed and busy.

This brings me to a recent conversation I had with my little squirrel. She, being much more social than everyone else in our home, was asking if she could have a friend sleep over. She wanted her to come this weekend. On the day of my doctor's appointment. In Springfield. My Christmas shopping day.

In months past, I would have looked at that sweet face and caved in faster than a house of cards in a hurricane. I mean, who says no to friendship? Who, in good conscience, says no to fun and happiness and companionship?

I do.
Looking my baby in the eye, I told her no.
In disbelief, she walked away crying.

Aw, COME ON!!!! 😡

I bet you thought I was going to tell you some sappy story about how my sweet girls accept boundaries and how they don't argue nonstop. Not today, my friends!

This little girl marched straight to her room and wailed! I tried to talk to her, but she looked up all teary and declared in no uncertain terms that now was not the time! Let me tell you, this girl is going to be a great mom; she can lay on a guilt trip like the best of them.

When she finally calmed down, she approached the subject again. She just could not understand why I wouldn't let her friend sleep over. It was just one night. What would it hurt? As she continued to talk to me, I felt swayed by her passionate argument. I found myself beginning to waver, starting to agree with her. Then, reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was in the bathroom. Cleaning. Then, I had to fold laundry. And, I had to finish the few dishes in the sink. Plus, I had to iron a dress, cook supper, change my clothes, set the table, and put the clothes in the dryer. This was all before the little squirrel had Girl Scouts and the big squirrel had a choir concert!

My days are full. My month is full. The Friday I have set aside to shop is one of the few times I have the opportunity to do so.

Life is busy.
December is like a beaver on crack.
I have no more time left for anything else. I just don't. Right now, I am writing at 12:00 at night.

I explained to her everything that our family would be doing between now and Christmas. Then, I gently reminded her of our regular responsibilities and jobs aside from holiday activities. Finally, I asked her when she thought we might have time for her friend to come over. She had to think really hard. Suddenly, she excitedly announced that she had plenty of time over break, and her friend could come then!

CRISIS AVERTED.

I say this in jest, but many such demands for my time pop up during this season of busyness. Suddenly there is a party invitation or a last minute project or a funeral dinner or a dance camp or a basketball game. The list goes on and on.

Setting boundaries to protect my sanity, health, and happiness is vital for me this time of year. I've learned this the hard way. When I place healthy boundaries on what I can and cannot do, I am more relaxed and cheerful doing the things I want to do. No one likes a Scrooge, especially at Christmastime.

As Christmas rapidly approaches, may I encourage you to be vigilant about your time boundaries?  It can be so hard to say no. I don't know about you, but I feel like I am letting people down, and I hate that! However, no one can do it all and do it well. If I had to guess, I'd say my family prefers less activity and a happier mom anyway! Yours might, too.

And now, for that "to do" list........