Joe Schmo

Ugh. Not another person smirking when he gave them his name.
"Yes, my name is actually Joe Schmo. My parents had a real sense of humor," Joe responded to the cashier with as much patience as possible.

All he wanted was his six pack of Bud, but here he was,explaining yet again why he had the worst name on the planet. He really needed the beer tonight. It helped to calm his nerves, and boy were they on fire! She actually looked at him tonight. She talked to him! He couldn't believe how it had happened. She was just lined up outside of her apartment when he strode past, dropping his wallet.
"Sir! Sir, you dropped this!" she had called to him, handing him his wallet. She touched this, he thought, rubbing his wallet.

"Here's your change, Mr. Schmo," the cashier handed him the change from his beer. Joe could tell the man was going to die laughing as soon as he walked away.
"Thanks, buddy," Joe replied. He took the change and the beer and walked out of the Casey's. He needed to get home to his Bud. Yes, he definitely needed to get home.

Joe Schmo lived in an apartment across the street from Lucy Godfrey. His apartment looked right into the front room windows. At least that's what the last tenant said when she moved out. "I feel like he's always watching me," she had said. She was right. He was always watching. He liked to watch Lucy, too. She was so sweet, and it was obvious that she loved her little cat. That fat, stupid cat, thought Joe. It always meowed whenever he got near the door. It was like the cat could sense that he was there or something. Joe hated that cat.

"I'm not gonna worry about that damn cat tonight!" Joe shouted into his empty apartment. He had his Bud and his "glasses" and the TV turned on just loud enough. No one would ever know. Not now, not ever, Joe thought. He wasn't hurting anyone, he kept telling himself. He would never actually go into the apartment. He just liked to walk past the door and smell Lucy. She always smelled so good. No. Lucy was just for watching, we don't touch.

Joe settled into his easy chair with his binoculars and his Bud, and the show began.